Détente

Dearly Beloved,

You don’t exist but in my mind

It’s in my mind where I have found a safe haven

While a fight daily battles out here in the real world

You always seem to nurse this injured soldier of mine

Currently in my third world war and I don’t think I have enough armaments for the battles to come

It’s now time for me to wave my white flag

Say my final goodbyes

Let my guard down

So that we can finally be together

When I’m all healed

When my smile is genuine and not a ploy to hide my tears

When my heart is pure and not on life support because of the number of times it slipped my hands and broke

When I’m happy and finally at peace with myself.

Love,

Your Delicate Flower

Breathe

She wanted to know how it felt like if she actually drowned in her own sadness and sorrow

So as she dipped her toes in the water she remembered the first time her heart broke

As the water reached her navel

She remembered the day she cried herself to sleep in her room for no reason

As the water reached her neck

She remembered the day she started feeling numb to every sort of emotion

As she took her last breath

She was under water

And she remembered faking her happiness because the truth didn’t make sense anymore

As she struggled to hold her breath

She looked up and saw how beautiful the sun was

Glistening over the water

Like yellow crystals

So she swam towards them

And from there

She felt alive for the very first time.

Serenity

She craved serenity

Something to ease her soul

She wanted her ever busy mind

To be swept away with each wave

She craved serenity

To have a clean and happy heart

A heart that was not breaking

One that functioned to keep her smile radiant

She craved serenity

To be in love and fall in love with only one person

That one person being herself

She craved serenity

Near the Indian Ocean

Her Indian Ocean

Her serenity.

Runaway Beauty

She looked in the mirror

The mirror looked back at her

With no promises

They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

But she didn’t see anything beautiful in front of her

She wondered where her beauty had run off to

She didn’t know what beautiful was anymore

She felt like a guinea pig

A body with imperfections that people tried to fix with their words

Happy

I just hate myself so much for no reason

Carrying the hurt people have given me

I’m sacrificing my happiness from the hurt people have given me

The vibrancy in my being is gone now

It’s just hopelessness now

It’s flashbacks of hurt and mistakes

How the stars can never align properly the way I want them to

My worth as a person has never changed

People just fail to see it

Then I end up failing to see it too

That’s where the trouble begins

That’s when the unexplainable sadness starts.

MIME

I’m more vocal when I write than when I speak

I’m usually the awkward quiet one

But inside..

Inside I’m bursting with emotions and words that flow in my mind

All filled with sarcasm, joy, hope, fear…

Anger…

I was a ticking time bomb once

Kept everything bottled up

Didn’t know that time was running out

That I had fewer seconds every time I took a deep breath

Then when the timer went off

I exploded

With emotions and tears

So much tears that I drowned in them

And for some time I didn’t know who I was any more

There was always rain, dark clouds and thunder in my heart

I got used to it at some point

It became a comfortable pain

It engulfed my whole body

Traces of it still exist

My mind speaks but my mouth doesn’t move

It’s as if I’m a mime

Trapped in a world my mind has created.

Going Rogue

It was the first time she left her heart at home

Every step she took led her closer to sin

Her mind played flashbacks of bitter memories

Like a copycat she replicated his sins

It was more than just tit for tat

For once

She wanted to know

How it felt like being the bad guy.

A taste

She experienced love

The way

One takes out their tongue to drink rain water

It has always just been a taste

Never really enough

She never had the chance

To fully let her love grow

So that she could experience more.

Waited

There was once a dragonfly

That turned into a butterfly

With wings so beautiful

It attracted every creature in sight

The butterfly flew and flew

But to her despair

Could not find any wings that matched hers

One day she rested on a sunflower

And decided to wait on a special pair of wings

So she waited and waited

And waited….

Therapy Room

With every glare she became toxic

He became addicted

And as time passed

Her image faded and became distorted

Then it was complete darkness