Happy

I just hate myself so much for no reason

Carrying the hurt people have given me

I’m sacrificing my happiness from the hurt people have given me

The vibrancy in my being is gone now

It’s just hopelessness now

It’s flashbacks of hurt and mistakes

How the stars can never align properly the way I want them to

My worth as a person has never changed

People just fail to see it

Then I end up failing to see it too

That’s where the trouble begins

That’s when the unexplainable sadness starts.

MIME

I’m more vocal when I write than when I speak

I’m usually the awkward quiet one

But inside..

Inside I’m bursting with emotions and words that flow in my mind

All filled with sarcasm, joy, hope, fear…

Anger…

I was a ticking time bomb once

Kept everything bottled up

Didn’t know that time was running out

That I had fewer seconds every time I took a deep breath

Then when the timer went off

I exploded

With emotions and tears

So much tears that I drowned in them

And for some time I didn’t know who I was any more

There was always rain, dark clouds and thunder in my heart

I got used to it at some point

It became a comfortable pain

It engulfed my whole body

Traces of it still exist

My mind speaks but my mouth doesn’t move

It’s as if I’m a mime

Trapped in a world my mind has created.

Going Rogue

It was the first time she left her heart at home

Every step she took led her closer to sin

Her mind played flashbacks of bitter memories

Like a copycat she replicated his sins

It was more than just tit for tat

For once

She wanted to know

How it felt like being the bad guy.

A taste

She experienced love

The way

One takes out their tongue to drink rain water

It has always just been a taste

Never really enough

She never had the chance

To fully let her love grow

So that she could experience more.

Waited

There was once a dragonfly

That turned into a butterfly

With wings so beautiful

It attracted every creature in sight

The butterfly flew and flew

But to her despair

Could not find any wings that matched hers

One day she rested on a sunflower

And decided to wait on a special pair of wings

So she waited and waited

And waited….

Therapy Room

With every glare she became toxic

He became addicted

And as time passed

Her image faded and became distorted

Then it was complete darkness

Writer’s block

I write

Read

Cringe

Then Cancel

A part of me wants to get hurt so that I can write a masterpiece

A part of me wants to fall in love so that I can write a sonnet professing the number of ways “I love thee”

Or I could just get an epiphany and my creative juices could start flowing

But I’m over here swamped with work writing this poem

Love is a lot of things

She loved with her eyes closed so that she can experience everything, everything

She kept her lips open

open to be kissed so that they can tremble by the touch of her lover

She listened to music so that her heartbeat can follow the rhythm to her love songs

that way she won’t have to listen to people who already gave up on love

Her happiness mattered

eventhough it wouldn’t last long

eventhough she fabricated it

Her happiness mattered.

Drip

Do you ever just melt ?

you stop thinking

the solid in you becomes liquid

because of the fire burning in both your eyes

One minute you’re sober and you got things under control

“nothing will happen tonight” you lie to yourself

then before you know it you’re staring at the ceiling

out of breath and weak

vulnerable

the rotation of the fan keeps you together

because you can’t even keep yourself together

Pathos

I’m the sensibility in “Sense and Sensibility”

Logic doesn’t do it for me

At times I feel that the glow of my heart blinds my mind so I end up not thinking straight.